Vikes’ “S.O.D.” Plans to Fake His Own Pee.

You just can’t make this stuff up!

The Viking’s Onterrio Smith (S.O.D.- self proclaimed “steal of the draft" last year) has now been caught with a kit he could use to fake a clean urine sample.

Smith is a 2 time offender of the NFL drug policy, so I’m sure he considers this a little insurance.

I never knew such a thing even existed, so I went to their website www.whizzinator.com to check it out.

It’s basically a strap on prosthetic, ahem, unit, that you load right before test time with water and dried urine to produce a clean sample.

Here’s what a testimonial on their site says:

“Hey, you guys messed up and sent me the big black whizzinator and got me kicked out of the KKK. But Earlene shore did scream when I did her last night! Yee Haw! Thanks whizzinator”

That's a direct quote, you just can’t make this stuff up!

Mr. Smith has now catapulted himself into a select group as one of the top three biggest idiots in the NFL.

Today, his main competition is Ricky Williams of Miami, another clear thinking pothead, who signed a big deal with a $7M signing bonus, then got caught smoking pot again, so he decided as long as he was so rich he would just retire and travel around the South Pacific.

Earth to Ricky: if you don’t fulfill your contract, you have to pay back the bonus, much of which you have no-doubt spent. I guess it’s back to work for you.

Our next member of the Einstein Battalion is Browns tight end Kellen (Evil Kneviel) Winslow Jr.

With about a $4M contract under his belt, he decides to by himself a motorcycle, and then eschews riding lessons, figuring he can pick up riding on the fly.

Well, fly he did, over the handlebars.

Now this moron’s contract is in jeopardy as well.

Cast your vote here folks…

ps. I just heard Green Bay RB Ahman Green was picked up at the Milwaukee Airport with a Cheez Wizzonator!